the mom, son, and daughter were bringing in their 11 yr old yellow lab who they suspected of having a stroke. when they arrived i went out to the car to help them carry him in as he could not walk. the daughter and i were about the same age, and we hoisted that big fella in from the parking lot and in the back door to the exam room by ourselves. i commented on her being pretty strong (i like to think i am too! haha) and she replied that they were "farm kids" and so she was used to it. once we had the lab on the exam table, it was obvious that he was in rough shape. his extremities were cold and he had laboured breathing, but you know labs, he was still smiling and wagging his tail. <3 the clients did not wish to do any testing or try any treatments, they were set on having him put to sleep right then. again, the farm lifestyle. the mother and son were both pretty upset and did not want to stay during the euth, so they left to take care of the bill and wait outside. the daughter said she wanted to stay and asked if she could help me with anything during the euth. i thought it was interesting that she asked that, nobody ever has asked me that. and i replied that all she had to to was talk to her dog and give him comfort. while the DVM was prepping, the two of us were left in the exam room, and she told me that she works in a health care home for seniors. she said that she saw the lab's laboured breathing and felt his cold paws, and that it was just the same symptoms she saw in some of her patients, and that she wished that she could help them out of their suffering. that is why she wanted to be with the dog while we put his suffering to rest. she was telling me this with a very cool manner, no emotion, very factual. it made me realize that she must see as much, of not more, death than we do in our positions, and that she must need to keep her emotional side in check. i let her know that i understood what is was like to feel like you must keep your emotions controlled during work, and that it was fine to feel that way now, but that she must also remember that this was her pet. she can be as strong and mature about this situation as she could right now, and she may not feel like crying or being upset at this momement, but i asked if she would be able to maybe have a good cry about him later that night. she smiled at me and totally knew what i ment, and said that she most definatly would. she agreed with me and said she knew that its not healthy to always bottle up emotions, especially with her line of work and not to mention their farming lifestyle!
he went to sleep very peacefully, and then we wrapped him up in his blanket. i left her alone with a box of kleenex and told her she could stay as long as she needed, and that she could leave out the back door when she was done. about 5 mins later, she came out and i was working in the back room. she had a few sniffles i could tell. :) but she had pulled herself together enough to professionally ask if i needed help carrying him off of the table. (the family had decided to live him with us for cremation.) i just said "you dont have have to worry about that, we will take good care of him" and she smiled and left.
i usually wouldnt have gotten that involved in disscussing the grief with a client normally, but it just seemed like something between us clicked enough for it to be a natural conversation. i sure found it comforting to talk with someone my own age about those feelings, and i found it interesting that we felt the same way in dealing with both our different species of patients! none of my friends work in the health field, so i dont really get to talk about that kind of "work stuff" with people my own age. i think that having a place like this blog to write it down is also a good substitute for getting those feelings out. (and that's just what the above post is for :) )
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is really interesting I had a moment like this yesterday when a woman whom only has been our client for a few months brought her dog in for euthanasia... she said that they had been thinking about this for weeks as he kept having problem after problem the last few months none of them terribly severe but they were causing the dog severe discomfort and not getting any better. She said the same thing about wishing that we could think the same about human suffering, I said that I understood because my grandmother had recently passed from Alzheimers and she then said to me she had recently put her mother in a home with Alzheimers and that she had to go visit her this afternoon, and after she thanked me for listening to her and being so gentile with her dog.
ReplyDeletethanks for reading claire. thats nice when you can share something personal like that with a client.. hopefully it makes them feel just a tiny little bit better.
ReplyDelete